Berserk High School AU
by stingingcake
Summary: It's prom season at midland high school. I'm sorry.


Once upon a time in midland high school there was Guts, a homeless, abused, totally ripped, weirdo kid. He was friends with Griffith who was like the queen of the school, but the real queen was actually a princess and she and Griffith were totally going to the prom together. There was also Casca, who was a lesbian or something.

Tension ran high as everyone was asking people to go the dance. Casca was all sad because she had a crush on Griffith.

"That sucks." Guts said when she told him.

"You ask me to go to prom with you." Casca commanded.

"But I'm not a lesbian." he argued.

Casca scowled and hit him, "I'm not a lesbian."

Guts shifted uncomfortably, "I wasn't saying you were…"

"Why did you think that then?" Casca asked, "Is is the hair?"

Guts then kissed her so he wouldn't have to answer and they made out for like 20 minutes during the lunch break.

Meanwhile off to the side Griffith was asking out Charlotte so they could be the power couple of prom night.

"Soooo Charlotte." Griffith said fluttering his luxurious lashes, "Do you want to go to prom with me?" He then serenaded her with a leaf, doing a little dance afterwards.

Charlotte looked confused and blushed before saying, "I would love to, but I'm not a lesbian." She stood up to go to class early.

Griffith stood in shocked silence as he processed what just happened. Nobody rejected him, he had never been rejected, not once! He couldn't just show up like a loser dateless to the prom, not like what Guts would do… Guts! That sounds like a brilliant plan!

Griffith laughed, "hehheheh."

He found Guts and Casca the next day making out behind the bleachers.

"Griffith!" Casca exclaimed, blushing. Guts was also blushing.

"Heyy you guys…" Griffith drifted off, "I need to talk about prom…"

"Oh my gosh," Casca said, "You want to ask me? I mean, I'm-"

"Gross, no," Griffith said immediately, "I wasn't asking you, besides, I'm not a lesbian." he turned his attention to Guts, "Guts, would you be a bro and go to prom with me?"

"I dunno dude, sounds kind of gay…"Guts said.

"What? No, no, no," Griffith insisted, "We'd just be two dudes, eating dinner, renting a fancy car, wearing matching outfits, going to prom together like bros!"

From the vacant look in Guts' eyes Griffith could tell he was convincing him. This was all going according to keikaku. (Note: Keikaku means plan)

"I really want to help you out dude," Guts said, "but I was going on a spirit journey prom weekend, to like find myself and all. Casca was going to go and a few others. You could come too."

Guts had friends beyond him? When did that happen?

"Fine." Griffith said, "I didn't want you to come anyways." He stormed away before they could see the crystalline tears protruding from his cerulean orbs.

Later at the prom…

Griffith decided to go to prom any ways. He showed up in all black wearing black lipstick and a fedora. He then insisted everyone call him 'Femto' as Griffith was his slave name. Nobody bought into it because Griffith is hecka white. As prom was going on, a large van accidently drove through the middle of the gym.

"Hey kids wanna see a dead body," shouted a man resembling Danny Devito dressed like a grandma. All of the kids screamed. The music suddenly changed to some sort of china speak music as the weebs got a hold of the DJ. A mostly naked woman got of the van and harassed the students, trying to get them to touch her boobs.

"Here," she said, "Feel them, I swear they're real."

A large fat man stood in the corner laughing, "hoo hoo hoo."

And finally a dude who must have gotten some work done was tempting Griffith.

"COme on dude, give me that weird egg thing and I'll give you what you always wanted."

"Give you the thing that is the only reminder of my dear sister who died when I was just a young street urchin?" Griffith questioned, "Okay."

At that moment Guts ran in.

"Griffith I'm sorry I left you, that's not what a true bro would do." Guts apologised. "I ran here to make up to you."

"It's too late for that, Not Best Friend." Femto said, accepting the drugs from the sketchy dude. Everyone gasped because Drugs Are Bad. "This part is now my party, Zombies and demons eat everybody."

Zombies and demons started pouring in though all of the doors and holes. So many students got eatened. Everyone was like "ahhhh don't eat me."

Gut was prepared because he was like ripped and killed the monsters. Griffith admired his ex best friend and caught his tense muddy brown orbs staring at him from across the room. "GRIIIIFFFFITHHHHH!" Guts yelled, hitting a zombie in the face with another zombie arm that was trying to strangle him. It was so hot. He kicked a zombie head at Griffith and Griffith dodged. Why Guts, Griffith thought to himself, why did you have to be this way? Why couldn't we just go to prom together?

Then Casca came in and took out a few zombies before she was bitten. She was then turned into a zombie and Guts cried like a little b*tch. "No!" He cried, "I was totally going to score tonight, she was the coolest lesbian I know." He turned his attention to Griffith, "Why do you have to be such a h8r dood? why can't you just support your friends like we supported you?"

Griffith turned up his nose, "I don't speak to garbage people." He retorted eloquently.

"Then never speak to yourself," Guts shot back like a savage. Then a zombie bit him. Guts immediately cut off his own arm with a 2000 degree knife he stole from some red head punk and didn't turn into a zombie. He killed the zombie and yelled some more as a confetti cannon went off in his eye; in the chaos someone had set off the the prom royalty announcement. The banner fell revealing the prom king to be none other than… Donovan, the coolest kid in school. The prom queen was Rape Horse, makes sense, she was so brave coming out as trans and super nice as well. Griffith screamed in agony.

"NOOOO!" He protested, "I'M THE BLESSED KING OF LONGING, I ' ."

He went up on stage and put on both crowns. Guts was still yelling about something, Casca was a brain dead zombie, the people from the van were still being weirdos, and zombies devoured Griffith's classmates. Screams permeated the air accompanied by blood and viscera flying everywhere, like fireworks, but none of that processed in his mind as he wore the crowns and scepter. Because in that moment he was king. Griffith was king.

fin


End file.
